cloud 9

[j-rock]

im back from tha dead and i brought a pound of kill
nigga u aint smokin unless u burnin that skrill
stayin full of tha dro dro no sticks no seeds of in my bag i want some mo mo
but if u high right now juzz pay attention to how i flow
and if u hit this weed to hard i bet u wont no more know oh no
they call me dirty cause im known for smokin that killa down south
niggaz never get me wrong i knock they teeth out they mouth
now what its bout its all about keepin that hydro green and a bottle of hennesseey
thats all i need to proceed
indeed hydro weed be havin me blown for dayz
i cant hear my gurl bitchin im on that purple haze
walkin circles through a maze
and they will work u till yo grave
if u ont smoke until u layed
so shawty roll up n blaze
cuzz im so high im floating on cloud 9


second verse


sticky green that my topic
lift me up like a rocket
no body gone make me stop it
chiefin until im dead
see me my eyes red
excuse me im gettin fed
got hatas sick in the head
wishin j-rock was dead
watch me might pop an x
lock it cock like a vest
grey goose and hennesseey
drugs they enimies
floatin all through my body
this dont feel like no hobby
a blunt when i wake up a blunt when i lay down
lick o all in between u kno im bout to clown boyyyy

im so high im floatin on cloud 9

[Kalos Graphē]

1st of all u need 2 drop 2 links where u left feed

this was a decent piece 4 wut looks like ur 1st drop, i'd advise u 2 up ur vocab alot nigga if u want 2 make a good impression on the niggaz round here, trust me u can hav vocab and still do ya g thang nigga, im doin it... also try and get more multis in dere nigga, makes ur piece way more interesting, rhymes could use a bit o tuning up and make them stronger, also try and stay on topic more, wit a good topic it should make it easier but try and stay on one focus point... flow was aight, work on ur structure and make all the lines tha same size, it helps wit tha flow alot... also try and rhyme more than once in a line, i saw u doin it a bit, it makes tha flow alot better!... overall it was decent 4 ur 1st drop, u'll catch on easily, this rhymin shit, simple nigga, keep at it

return tha favor nig, drop feed on my piece here
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221957

thanx nigga keep goin, i was jus like dat when i started... now look^

[Rock$]

this was iite, i liekd the second verse better then the whole beggining thing... a little simple you can up your vocan and wordplay but your topic was on point... you gotta get mulyis up i nthere fa real but it was iite hola at me 1

[sILLable]

elevate your vocab...your could use some complexity in your rhymes as well...your structure is aiight..but some lines are too lengthy..not too bad though..keep elevatin and droppin.~1~