Capture The Flag.

[Soule]

Capture The Flag.
By: Limitless

Favored, thankful to live.
Standing tall & proud of
the flag I’ve helped stand.
I See the chaos and disaster
We have caused, yet; I do
not feel as bad for this foreign
country. The way they killed
My friends and close family.
Took away men’s dignities
And smiled in the face of
Monstrosity. They have almost
Nothing now, yet I feel ..
Wrath. Pride. Envy. Gluttony.
Sloth. Lust & Greed. It burns.
But, I can now sleep with a smile
On my face, my gut; no longer
Twisted up into a knot. The colors,
Red, white and blue rest with my
Soul. A belligerent-like remorse. A
Feeling comes around to my mind. If,
This was in due time; a regret. What
Would be of me? I was posted on news
Stands and TV. I’m a celebrity within my
Own country. And if this ends a regret, a
Tombstone and grave shall be the corruption
Of me. I wish to dispose these dreams and
Nightmares I have every night. But the light
Is still hidden. Images of the faces I’ve helped
Stone and bleed through cold. I regret it so much.
As if the memories are more like sins, I’ve killed
Men. And I am sorry, but I can’t bring it down;
It won’t go away. I captured the flag and put it there
In Korea, I killed god’s children of the sun. Now I must
Pay the expected punishment of my sanity.

[Soule]

I liked it.
What do you think?
Leave links please.

[Soule]

5 Views?
Drop some fucking feedback yo.

[Soule]

upps.

[Jon]

ok, i read it earlier.

you are ok, don't get me wrong.

but honestly, when you look at your piece. what do you think? when you give this to the average joe kind of person, they read it and say.. "nice rant..". I can garuntee you. Its ok, and good thoughts and what not, but man, you have to make shit interesting.

if you would have shortened your lines, and added a rhymescheme. I can garuntee you would have had at least 2 reply's by now, and probably good feed of people who liked it. all of your pieces are similar, and ok. you have to by-pass ok, and make your shit good..

like i said, average drop from you.. but keep writing.. just try to take my advice in a positive way.

[Soule]

Thanks man, will do.

[Poeta Demonio]

3poems open- closed.

C'mon man, you should know better by now.

[Prince Escobar]

*Opened.

[Jay Flow.]

..?

[urban legendz]

Meh I started not to reply to this, but wtf might as well, look your piece is really un appealing your presentation is poor and your content could be tuned up a bit, I noticed a few grammatical errors, but nothing to major..

please hit up my piece

[Soule]

No.

[urban legendz]

Why?..

[Soule]

Horrible feed.

[urban legendz]

Bitch feed is feed, seriously kill ya self

[Soule]

Seriusly, learn how to give good feed.

Add good feed about the postitives and negatives. Don't just walk in and be like "Ya, this was alright but gay compared to what my skidmarks can do". No, be a good feedback giver and then I'll rtf.