Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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make it count.. 'cause you still ain't gettin my money, son...
says you.
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
"Love like the Movies"
By: Cry
ACTION ---
In the movies?? they never catered sluts
but this Notebook I write in says I hate her guts...
love's too sane... I'm insane as lust
we're exchangin' blows, they're exchangin' trust
some ex-rated love... climbin' out the green screen
you think THAT'S exciting? well, I'm down a t.v.
loudly screaming, heart's about to be bruised
without an ounce of beating unless it's spousal abuse
I need the foutain of youth to pretend I'm in love
and a time machine for back when I was young
like back when was enough to get rid of the curse
from inside the Titanic... stop extending the search
stop inventin' the words, because none of 'em work
and five years later you'll fret comin' from work
that's love and it hurts, love is feelin' regret
people starin' at the reel like that's as real as it gets
what's real is neglect, so stick to your pace
you'll be snubbin' her existence playin' video games
that sexy ol' frame, and you were walkin' in with her??
the party was flames until you saw the big picture
every missed pixel, each detail in the brain
a closer look for a bit and you could tell she's a fake...
then she tells you to stay, and strange enough??
we were waiting on some thanks, now it's thanks to us
and she's breakin' up, static crushin' your lies
she just left you in the dust there rubbin' your eyes
muskin' our lies... she only finds that it's clearer
Dr. Jekyll's outside, that's why we hide in the mirror
never tryin' to hear her, ears dyin' on the spot...
may have worked before, now you're cryin' on the job
but yeah... love is JUST like the movies...
Television and dishes, that's all that this is
maybe a love like real life should never follow with kids
hollow and split down the middle, it's concrete
skydiving into love leaves it brittle to fall free...
ornery... difficult to the furthest extremes
trying to make it work when it's more worth it to leave
it's a burden to breathe, you only speak when it's bad
love like the movies? try Angelina and Brad...
try to be half the man you always wanted to be
the letters never make it, bottles lost in the sea
never got to the beach, it lacked a hand and the seed
it didn't travel baron desert to find the grasses are green
these pastures are mean, this world is dyin' to lose
clouds populate the earth and all the sky isn't blue
divided and loose, the hinges move back and forth
your head's crackin' open soon as you slam the door
so act like passion is more for some immaculate purpose
but the hands that you held created cracks in the surface
unrelaxin' and burned with an idea that begs edits
the biggest challenge of all is after the end credits
so you better forget exit, or your head'll get wrecked
a love like the movies is more than special effects
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...res/island.png
annnnnnnnnd... cut...
that's a rap..
peace...
Last edited by Cody Nash; May 5th, 2010 at 02:18 AM
“Mannequin”
.
.
yo,
Where to begin?
you smiled this way .. that old, unbearable grin,
the type that lures Jesus into terrible sin,
only comparable thing, sunrise crossing the coast -
teeth beyond bleach, whiter than hospital coats.
your love in such demand, it's got the popular vote,
capsized inside two glassy eyes, they're rockin the boat ..
modeling, no - it's a delicate art-form,
pressed upon your chest like scarlet letters in Hawthorne,
a friend, but i sought more - and i know it equates,
cause ever since we first met, you've been frozen in place.
… it was but a few weeks before i noticed a change,
you were never there for me on my loneliest days;
wandering aimlessly through clothing displays,
like the closest that i've been to you is poster in frames.
going insane since that picture surfaced, it's too hard
seeing you next to someone looking perfect as you are.
purchased a U-Haul to move on, hard as it sounds
fuck, you know i'm bluffing .. can we stop arguing now?
targeting crowds, lately all you crave is attention,
with the blankest expression, staring .. awaiting affection.
such a material girl - you're a slave to possessions,
& every time the trends shifts, you'll change in a second.
Why did you change?
… it's been a long time that we've been struggling dear,
a couple of years? maybe, but there's nothing to fear -
the path to your heart has opened, suddenly clear,
cuz that regretful gaze that you gave me was so fuckin sincere.
to mumble sweet nothings only one of us hear,
gives me a slight buzz like i was chugging a beer.
coming in near, to see you're busy again
surrounded by the same crowd, your pitiful friends.
they stare disapprovingly & leave with a sigh -
treating you as if you weren't even alive.
scream with your eyes - i feel the passionate energy,
silky skin, more radiant than plastic could ever be.
apathy, empathy - both are held in your hand,
fragile, at any second they could melt & disband ..
selfishness granted, you've taken a part of me,
realized the void inside you and replaced it with arteries.
created a harmony, thought our connection has grown,
'til the day you finally sacrificed your flesh, skin & bone.
You are so fucking perfect.
the truth of the matter, is that truth doesn't matter -
cause humanity's perspective views are usually scattered.
you're sickening to me .. the most beautiful cancer,
i'd vomit blood and wine and say the eucharist backwards,
if only you would see. see, i'm never evolving -
you'll always be good enough and better than all things,
your presence is calming - yet it's just an illusion,
once upon a time, you were something other than human.
took a place in line and stood, not accustomed to moving,
the true nature of your being is a dusty confusion.
never come to conclusion, that's the working of fate,
you traveled where you thought was real, returned as a fake.
no longer living, breathing - just a fabric of memory,
though sometimes it's still clear,
under that plastic .. is energy.
- Black
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
Cry, you had a few spelling and grammatical errors brother that fucked the flow up in a few lines. Like fou(n)tain of you. You forgot the 'n' and...
like back when was enough to get rid of the curse
there's a word missing between when and was. So... that line lost a lot of meaning because I didn't know what you were trying to say. There were a lot of lines that made me wonder why you put them. Like the video game line. But there were a lot of dope lines too. Mainly in the second stanza. Like the end....
so you better forget exit, or your head'll get wrecked
a love like the movies is more than special effects
Loved that bar bro. Your flow was up and down for a majority of the first half. But you really picked up in the second stanza I think. Kind of scary though, you need a more flawless read to beat Blacketh usually.
Blacketh,
you smiled this way .. that old, unbearable grin,
the type that lures Jesus into terrible sin,
Dope way to open a piece dude. With a slick bar that gets the reader thinking 'oh, this is gonna be good...'
modeling, no - it's a delicate art-form,
pressed upon your chest like scarlet letters in Hawthorne,
Jesus Christ, I loved this bar too. Dope as fuck wording and a smooth rhyme. The entire read was pretty dope. Really have no complaints so there's nothing much for me to reply on. But the way I see it, if Cry balanced his first stanza out more. Then you would've had more of a run for your money. Lucky break, dope read.
Vote Blacketh, dammit Cry.
Cry - I really enjoyed this...The beginning of your piece like the first six lines was a little choppy/audio ish, but then your lines got longer and the read was more fluent, so that wasn't a problem for me. I like how you played your topic, not only as the main focus or one distinct metaphor, but as reoccurring metaphors such as the static line, pixels, special effects, Dr. Jekyll was neatly worded...a lot of cool lines, sort of light-hearted to a dark piece, which made it interesting, like you were battling what you want to believe and reality which correlates with the "love like movies" even more...Very well done. Not an amazing take on the topic, but executed wonderfully...Good stuff.
Blacketh - Can you take a week off? Still pissed I dropped before knowing about ext. ANYWAYSSSSSSSSS.....
Your wording was paramount and the take on your topic was nothing too creative either, but you also executed very well. Topic was sort of obvious, fakeness...But some of your lines were perfect for this. Like your last 2-4 lines of every stanza completely let the reader into the reason for this piece and the emotion of the narrator there are four lines that sum up your piece I feel:
selfishness granted, you've taken a part of me,
realized the void inside you and replaced it with arteries.
created a harmony, thought our connection has grown,
'til the day you finally sacrificed your flesh, skin & bone.
Perfect summary...
The setting trends lines was also dope considering the concept...
Vote - Blacketh...
Cry's piece is the second best I've read this week...but...Blacketh's is the best. Good stuff for both of you.
This is my signature...
couple more votes on this one...I'm gonna vote right now.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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Cry - When I started reading this, I noticed a few mistakes, but that's the least of your worries, but like Jon noted - you missed a word that killed a whole line for me and left me like..."wait, what?" - outside of that though, your flow was on point, I wasn't a huge fan of the wording in some sections, but you really took that topic and made a dope concept for it and ran with it, you tied the shit together well in the end though, not something I would have thought of with the picture, so good shit.
Blacketh - A cut above man. The way you opened this was so subtle, yet necessary. The imagery was very vivid in your piece and I think you brought some crazy awesome flow in this man. Conceptually, I think you lacked compared to Cry if I'm being honest, but what you lacked you made up for easily, your style is so fresh and fluid, just can't really fault you in the piece, crisp wording and overall a strong piece dude. You did enough to take this, just a little better all around.
v/Blacketh
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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Pretty awesome battle dudes.
Cry - As usual you dropped a very strong piece, some of the lines were brilliant dude,
and she's breakin' up, static crushin' your lies
she just left you in the dust there rubbin' your eyes
muskin' our lies... she only finds that it's clearer
Dr. Jekyll's outside, that's why we hide in the mirror
never tryin' to hear her, ears dyin' on the spot...
may have worked before, now you're cryin' on the job
^ Seriously brilliant my dude, but unfortunately some parts of this just didn't fit well, it may be how I was reading it, but some lines didn't seem to rhyme, which threw the flow off, and made it a bit choppy to read, also I don't mean to be pedantic or whatever but you did have some spelling mistakes, which contributed to the disruption of the reading. Don't get me wrong, this was a really good piece, but it could have been better.
Blacketh - I'm going to be honest dude, this shit fucking blew my mind...I fucking loved it, every single line, I dunno, I guess it's just my kind of style, but...yea, quote time
the truth of the matter, is that truth doesn't matter -
cause humanity's perspective views are usually scattered.
you're sickening to me .. the most beautiful cancer,
i'd vomit blood and wine and say the eucharist backwards,
Duuuuude, that was fucking awesome, the eucharist backwards part just had me smiling at the brilliance. I loved this piece dude, You remind me of Ledgenz...and if you know him, you'll know what kind of compliment that is lol
Vote/ Blacketh
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24 x OM Hall Of Fame
Blacketh advances.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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